Originally published April 2, 2015. World Autism Awareness Day.
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“Do you need a permit to own a ray gun?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“How do you clean soap?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“Should the roller-coaster I’m going to build in the backyard be wooden or steel?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“Do ducks and the other animals in zoos get paid? Cause it’s their job, you know…”
“Will? Mama and daddy are going out to dinner. Nadia’s in charge.”
Will: “Are you taking any electronics?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“Is Dora non-fiction?”
“No, Will.”
(2 minute pause)
“I think it’s historical fiction.”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“When are you and Mama going to have another child to play with Sarah so I can have some time to relax?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“Has there ever been a Man vs. Food at McDonald’s?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“When I’m a NASCAR driver, will they let me drive a McDonald’s food truck during the week?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“Have any of our ancestors found gold or been a successful miner?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“If badgers and skunks are cousins, who’s their grandpa?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“Why do people argue about whether a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“Were my ancestors allergic to milk?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“Am I symmetrical or asymmetrical?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“Who will decide what color lightsaber I get when I become a Jedi?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“How old do you have to be to get a jet pack?”
“Daddy, I have a question.”
“Yes, Will.”
“Do you think shrink rays are ever going to be real?”
“Daddy, what kind of club is Club Vogue?” (I’d like to thank the local strip club for deciding to include yard signs in their media mix.)
“Daddy, you should come speak to my class.”
“Will, what should I talk about?”
“I don’t know. Rachel’s mom talked about Hanukkah. Do you want to talk about Hanukkah?”
With our son on the autism spectrum, sometimes one plus one equals orange.
To get into Will’s head, you gotta get pretty far outside the box. Neptune far.
And as a parent of a child on the spectrum you can either let that incongruity eat you up, ruin your marriage and spend the rest of your life trying to “fix” your child.
Or you can learn to accept and admire your child and adapt your own life to let in this fascinating and awesome and, yes, even frustrating new frame-of-reference.
Will looks at the world differently. And he asks the most interesting questions with no hints of humor. He’s not bound by social norms and conventions and fears and, yes, this will prove problematic for him over the course of his life.
But it’s also beautiful.
Last night, he ate a marshmallow. The night before, he ate bacon.
Unless you have sensory issues and understand what that means, let me frame it for you by asking you to imagine that last night, you bowled a 300 game and the night before, you wrote a symphony.
Today’s World Autism Awareness Day.
I wish instead it was, as some rightly say, World Autism Acceptance Day.
With that in mind, I have two favors to ask of you today. Neither of them involves wearing a ribbon or changing your Facebook profile picture.
1) Please consider recalibrating your idea of normal. People some label “weird” are typically the ones we rely upon to advance our world … and no one belongs in the margins.
2) Never stop asking interesting questions.
“You know, daddy, in the beginning of kindergarten I had to go to the think spot a lot, but here by the end, I kinda had it figured out. Can we go home now?”